After an initial slump after last weekend--not due to anything in particular other than anxiety related to dissertation work, I have been able to dig in and code the set of A Data and move into the set of B Data. The B Data is students' essays they completed at the end of the semester--the prompt asked them to think about how they think of definitions of composing/writing after having taken the course. Since it is the "post-" set of essays/data it's cool to see what terms and ideas are running through the entire B Data set.
My next step after coding all the B Data together will be to go across A and B for each student. So, "Sara's" essay A and essay B coded together. Then "Ryan's" essay A and essay B coded together.
I also caught up with Matt this week and read/skimmed the three chapters he sent me of his draft (introduction, lit review, methods) and it was great to see someone else's drafts. Our work is in the same ballpark as far as pedagogy and assessment, though his is writing center studies and not teacher-reasearch. It was extremely reassuring to see that I already have chapters like his drafted. In fact, from the very beginning it almost seems as if I did some steps backward during the diss process. For one, during the time of transition between advisors, I'd written what amounted to about 30 pages of what I thought was the proposal. As it turns out, I wasn't clear on what the proposal (or actually pre-proposal) was supposed to be, and I was off-base from what was required. After an informative committee meeting and many hours with Patti, I've found that I have a wealth of drafts, pages and pages of writing, and have had to go back and create outlines and subheads from writing I've already amassed.
The entire process has been a battle with myself over feeling alternately euphoric over discoveries and productivity and depressed over what I feel is a lack of movement. I like to call these episodes of academic depression, "moments of crippling self-doubt." They sometimes involve thinking too far ahead (OMG how will I ever pay my loans!) or manifesting in a lack of self-confidence about life in general. I'll be thrilled to move into other realms where these things still arise (probably any career I enter), but where an entire degree is not riding on my ability to talk about my study. Although money, grants, promotions, and other successes may still ride on my ability to talk about my own work.
At least today, on a day of productivity from the security of my own little casita, I can enjoy the evening--cooking dinner, visiting with my partner and MIL, and thinking about tomorrow's work without the pressure of feeling like I didn't accomplish enough.
The Macbook arrived and it's slim and awesome. I went straight to Ross/Marshall's to find a sleeve for it and actually decided not to use it until the protective body wrap I ordered arrives via USPS in the next day or two. Side note: I obsessively looked for well-reviewed "wraps" that cover the computer, offer scratch protection, but don't add weight. I found one for $37.95 (yikes!), but I figured it's a wise investment for a $1,600 machine.
My next step after coding all the B Data together will be to go across A and B for each student. So, "Sara's" essay A and essay B coded together. Then "Ryan's" essay A and essay B coded together.
I also caught up with Matt this week and read/skimmed the three chapters he sent me of his draft (introduction, lit review, methods) and it was great to see someone else's drafts. Our work is in the same ballpark as far as pedagogy and assessment, though his is writing center studies and not teacher-reasearch. It was extremely reassuring to see that I already have chapters like his drafted. In fact, from the very beginning it almost seems as if I did some steps backward during the diss process. For one, during the time of transition between advisors, I'd written what amounted to about 30 pages of what I thought was the proposal. As it turns out, I wasn't clear on what the proposal (or actually pre-proposal) was supposed to be, and I was off-base from what was required. After an informative committee meeting and many hours with Patti, I've found that I have a wealth of drafts, pages and pages of writing, and have had to go back and create outlines and subheads from writing I've already amassed.
The entire process has been a battle with myself over feeling alternately euphoric over discoveries and productivity and depressed over what I feel is a lack of movement. I like to call these episodes of academic depression, "moments of crippling self-doubt." They sometimes involve thinking too far ahead (OMG how will I ever pay my loans!) or manifesting in a lack of self-confidence about life in general. I'll be thrilled to move into other realms where these things still arise (probably any career I enter), but where an entire degree is not riding on my ability to talk about my study. Although money, grants, promotions, and other successes may still ride on my ability to talk about my own work.
At least today, on a day of productivity from the security of my own little casita, I can enjoy the evening--cooking dinner, visiting with my partner and MIL, and thinking about tomorrow's work without the pressure of feeling like I didn't accomplish enough.
The Macbook arrived and it's slim and awesome. I went straight to Ross/Marshall's to find a sleeve for it and actually decided not to use it until the protective body wrap I ordered arrives via USPS in the next day or two. Side note: I obsessively looked for well-reviewed "wraps" that cover the computer, offer scratch protection, but don't add weight. I found one for $37.95 (yikes!), but I figured it's a wise investment for a $1,600 machine.
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